G News – Mr Gaffe’s first year
Mr Gaffe otherwise known as “Everyman Christopher Luxon”, has had a bumpy first year and as we approach the 12 month anniversary it was time G News wrote an “off the cuff” review of Mr Gaffe’s first year.
1. ) Mr Gaffe’s first mistake was the black Mercedes which just went down like a cup of vomit because it was so out of touch with people who were struggling and people who were aware that Mr gaffe could have just walked a hundred metres to get to parliament.
2. ) Mr Gaffe’s second mistake was not knowing the Living wage after being in parliament for a year by this time – it was embarrassing but true and showed Mr Gaffe’s values.
3. ) The third Luxon mistake was saying the world had moved on from Covid when a new Covid variant ( Omicron ) was still emerging and not yet understood by scientists This showed the big disconnect and willingness to lay down the lives of New Zealanders for a few dollars more.
4. ) Luxon messed up his first question in parliament – only having to read it out – he still messed it all up and said something nonsensical.
5. ) Luxon mispronounced Matariki as “Matarangi you know” to Jack Tame which said it all really.
6. ) Luxon was comfortable with only 85% vaccination levels which would have killed many Maori and Pasifika people.
7. ) Luxon goofed off at the Cricket during Summer 2021/2022 and later criticised the government for goofing off over Summer.
8. ) Luxon staged his National Party retreat in swanky QueensTown location where he plotted to exploit the “cost of Living crisis” to gain votes.
9. ) Luxon demanded we needed more RATs from Australia – but we didn’t need any of them at all.
10. ) Luxon insisted we should have doubled our ICU bed capacity like New South Wales – but turned out we didn’t need to.
11. ) Luxon blamed Government Spending for inflation in New Zealand and said it was one of the biggest drivers – when it was really a very small driver and Luxon refused to articulate that he was referring to the inflationary impulse from the Wage Subsidy and Business Resurgent payments. Money that was vital to all of us at the time. Government spending as a ratio of GDP was almost exactly the same in 2017 compared to 2022.
12. Luxon looked like a dork when he could not explain large enough examples of government spending that would have driven inflation on TVNZ Q&A – demonstrating Luxon was just spinning with no real facts.
13. ) Luxon promised tax cuts and to repeal taxes made by Labour but neglected to point out that they would cost $11.7 Billion over three years and probably add to inflation. Luxon still has not provided costs and how he will pay for these tax cuts. Those on the minimum wage would get $2 per week.
14. ) Luxon promised to get rid of Labour Day if we were going to have a Matariki holiday and when he came under heat for this – Luxon said he was joking.
15. ) Luxon told Newstalk ZB that National does not feed the bottom – and the poor got the picture.
16. ) Luxon supported the protestors outside parliament in his speeches despite many being dangerous fruit loops.
17. ) Luxon spun that our vaccination rollout took too long – when it was about the same as the rollout in Australia – this was because Pfizer supplied to nations based on need.
18. ) Luxon said he did not believe public transport should be subsidised when – it was already subsidised for years and – then said he had not really looked into it.
19. ) Luxon messed up the meaning of the LCI ( Labour Cost Index ) before media.
20. ) Luxon told media National would index Health and Education spending to inflation but Nicola Willis later contradicted Luxon showing massive disagreement with Mr Gaffe.
21. ) Luxon was interviewed by Moana and said the English version of the Treaty shows Sovereignty was handed over to the Queen – showing ignorance about the 540 chiefs who signed the Maori version which did not say the same things.
22. ) Luxon sat on a table at a school where Maori were insulted by this ignorant act.
23. ) Luxon had to backtrack about abortion law after Simon O’Connor ( Vengeance will be mine ) and Simeon Brown went rogue on social media saying it was a great day that Roe vs Wade was being overturned in the US Supreme Court.
24. ) Luxon said he would repeal Three Waters before it had even been through Select Committee and had no solution details to offer just vague platitudes about a CCO here or there.
25. ) Luxon wore his mask under his nose for weeks breaking Covid Mask rules.
26. ) Luxon admitted that repealing interest deductibility for landlords will not lower rents.
27. ) Luxon misrepresented a “tax on KiwiSaver” to kiwis in blatant misinformation – which was really a proposed tax on the fees charged by investment managers.
28. ) Luxon admitted on TV that National might not sack all 14,000 Public servants and like its tax cuts – it was all a secret until closer to the 2023 election.
29. ) Luxon tried breaking the mask rules in Singapore and got a frosty “handshake” for his arrogance.
30. ) Luxon lashed out at New Zealand businesses in a PolicyExchange Speech – running them down calling them soft.
31. ) Luxon’s meetings in the UK all fell through and his mission was a total train wreck – badly planned and executed .
32. ) Luxon secretly flew to Hawaii to bathe in sheer luxury during a cost of living crisis and allowed people to think he was in Te Puke – which looked very dishonest and deliberate and incompetent all at once.
33. ) Luxon initially refused to admit he had made any error BY DECEIVING New Zealand on FaceBook that he was in Te puke and it was only media pressure that made him cave in and admit the mistake – which he then blamed on a staffer.
34. ) Luxon boasted about new candidate selection processes – only to select Sam Uffindell in Tauranga.
35. ) Luxon covered up the Uffindell terms of Reference and the KC report – creating real transparency issues for National.
36. ) Luxon boasted he would ban gang patches to solve the gang drive by shootings in Auckland – but – the problem went away without needing any of that “tough on crime” nonsense.
37. ) Luxon constantly put down Public servants calling them “bureaucrats” and suggesting they were worthless people who he would make unemployed because they were a waste of money.
38. ) Luxon cried crocodile tears about a man who only bought some Farm Bake Cookies at a Supermarket – but it was a crock of shite story.
39. ) Luxon threatened sick and disabled New Zealanders that National will control their money unless they get back to work if deemed fit to work.
40. ) Luxon pulled dumb PR stunts in a boxing ring and at McDonalds to try to pretend he was an “EveryMan” and not a disconnected multi millionaire with seven houses
41. ) Luxon mispronounced NCEA as NCA and NCE in parliament – which was ironic given he was concerned with literacy at the time.
42. ) Luxon wrongly suggested the Reserve Bank needed to have a single mandate focused on Inflation when there is no correlation between the number of mandates a central bank has – and their current experience of inflation.
43. ) Luxon boasted he was learning Te Reo but continues to avoid using it in simple greetings and phrases.
44. ) Luxon supported the myths spread by Groundswell – which included much opposition to the use of Te Reo and people who called the PM a communist.
45. ) Luxon misled New Zealanders that the Government’s counter proposal to farmers about pricing agricultural emissions – was somehow an unacceptable outrage – when it had the same productivity impacts as the sector’s proposal.
46. ) Luxon criticised too much hui when National meets on Tuesdays over pizza but still produces no new policies.
47. ) Luxon took two weeks to get around to making Barbara Kuriger stand down after he was made aware – and Luxon made excuses for her actions and the delays.
48. ) Luxon swore to reverse the ban on offshore gas exploration which would be a massive backward step for New Zealand in a climate crisis.
49.) Luxon posted a photo of himself in a Tuxedo wearing underpants and jandals – to try and be more popular – but he just looked pathetic and wet pale squid came to mind as people scrolled on – feeling sick.
50. ) Luxon’s promise to repeal Labour’s climate change actions will put 23.9 Million tonnes of C02 into the atmosphere by 2030.
51. ) Luxon’s commitment to repeal the merger of TVNZ and RNZ will be massively expensive but National have not shown us the money.
52.) Luxon “helicoptered into a school” and did a strange PR stunt that looked really wrong cos he was exploiting the kids – but worse – Luxon then attacked principals saying there was no longer any way we can maintain “a culture of excuses” about school absences and Luxon referred to “a mixed bag” of school principals.
53. ) Luxon called the free car discount a “Ute Tax” until now when he U-Turned and said National supported the free car discount on NewsHub AM after months opposing it. Seeing he had gaffed – he tried to U-Turn again about how he had misspoken.
There was more but that was an “off the cuff” summary of Mr Gaffe’s first year.
G News – Mr Gaffe’s first year
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