Gerard Otto: How National and Luxon with complicit media help manage and bury the Uffindell scandal in eight easy steps

Corporate Opposition Procedure when caught

1. Immediately swarm and huddle to assess the risks – no media

2. Discover all evidence that links the leader to knowing about the scandal?

3. Can we bury it? Can we destroy it? Can we plausibly deny it? If not sack the offender and admit a small error like “we should have changed the subtitles” or “I accepted the view of the selection panel”.

4. If you can destroy it, implement the – “I had no idea until yesterday” media line from the leader and dig up a distraction strategy about the Government to limit media focus

5. Push offender in front of cameras to make full confession for two days until distraction story dominates news cycle. Make the offender into the victim if possible. For pities sake – he said sorry and fronted up – he was just a white privileged kid and we all make mistakes. Use the words like – “he has made himself accountable” by throwing himself at the mercy of the Party…and we think he’s suffered enough. We believe in him. He told me in a heart to heart frank conversation. I looked him in the eye. Stuff like that, you know – eat your crow early and move on.

6. Leader to make a statement before friendly media about real genuine disappointment and shock and surprise to only just learn about this but – after a full and frank apology, we’ve decided to give the offender a second chance…because we are bigger than that. Every New Zealander who is white, rich and useful deserves a second chance. That’s who we are unless you are a brown kid who became a gang member, ram raid teenagers, or other people on the job seeker benefit who might have brown skin. For them the free ride is over…but for Sam …have a cigar, you’re gonna go far, you are never gonna die, they are gonna love you…

7. Reinforce the message that “I had no idea” multiple times and say “That’s up to Sam to reach out to the victim” and point to planted media who shift the focus away to the distraction strategy topic about last night’s poll ( for example ). End the conference abruptly and put on mask, but remember to place it over nostrils until cameras stop filming.

8. Media to summarise what we told them and move on quickly. Scandal managed and over in three days maximum.

G 🙂


Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s