Satire – The Confession of an emotional junior staffer
Emotional Junior Staffer
Bless me National for I have sinned
National Party High Priest
Just read the script damn you!
LOUD RUSTLING OF SCRIPT PAPER
Emotional Junior Staffer
It’s been a long time now, since Simon Bridges was there, since my last confession.
National Party High Priest
Hurry up and get on with it
Emotional Junior Staffer
It was me I did it, not Christopher Luxon.
National Party High Priest
( Impatient eye-roll )
Emotional Junior Staffer
Despite explicit instructions not to by Christopher Luxon, I, I think it says – I over road his command not to publish that Te Puke Video. Overrode not over road.
National Party High Priest
For God’s sake just read the bloody thing!
Emotional Junior Staffer
I alone am guilty – not Christopher Luxon – of authorising his maskless fake video about the logs going in and wood coming out which I maliciously and wilfully published on his facebook page despite direct orders not to.
National Party High Priest
Go on, …
Emotional Junior Staffer
I chose a time that would be most damaging to Christopher Luxon after the Prime Minister had been roasted in the media for not wearing a mask. Yes I did and I laughed with evil socialist glee as I imagined the damage I was doing to his election chances as I pressed that Post blue button on facebook anyway. That will teach you Luxon I screamed like a demon. Hey – I didn’t do any of this he told me to post it?
National Party High Priest
Shuttup and beg for National Party forgiveness.
Emotional Junior Stuffer
Well alright but it’s not true. It says here …So now I beg for forgiveness and accept full responsibility for all the bad things that have happened to the National Party in the past week.
National Party High Priest
And the last bit …
Emotional Junior Staffer
National always obey the rules when it comes to wearing a mask. Yes I like that bit – not very role model like though is it?
National Party Priest
Silence !!! Alright let’s finish this. With the power granted unto me by the Holy National Party Den of Thieves – I absolve you from your sin and wash away your iniquity. In the name of Sir John, Sir Bill and the Capitalist Spirit. You will do three press conferences, seven media articles and be stripped of your National Party membership forever in public as penance. Now go do it in the name of wealth inequality.
Emotional Junior Staffer
But I didn’t do it – and I don’t vote for National, it’s just a job.
National Party Priest
Get out and don’t come back – and send the next fall guy in.
Satire – The Confession of an emotional junior staffer
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