Stick-to-the script Luxon – flogged by Fran
If there’s one thing that gets right up Fran O’Sullivan’s business centric nostrils it’s a lack of substance.
For years Fran had told the public that Jacinda Ardern lacked substance and how her stardust would soon settle – but now – like the Dark Lord’s Fireball Eye suddenly turning to Mount Doom – Fran focused too late on Christopher Luxon’s junket overseas.
There was a disturbance in the force ten days ago but it was all too late now.
Christopher’s popularity had taken a dive by 5.6% in yesterday’s Tax Payers Union poll ( National party poll ) and there were whisperings amongst the establishment that Christopher had taken a massive dump on New Zealand businesses by calling them too soft.
“It was the wrong call” snapped the snapping turtle pleading like a Luxon apologist with the public that Christopher’s prepared speech had some substance to it.
“There were some useful comments in his speech to the conservative Policy Exchange think tank in London.” – said Fran without detailing them.
Fran complained that although most of Luxon’s speech was pure boiler-plate, the undefined substance was ignored by local media and they had focused on a later Q&A where Luxon said New Zealand’s challenge was “unleashing enterprise”, and that “we’ve kind of got into a place where the public look to the Government for all their answers … now businesses are getting soft and looking to the Government for all their answers.”
The speech to the Policy Exchange in London on 6 July 2022 and now Fran was finally writing about it on 16 July 2022.
Yes with the benefit of ten days of hindsight bias Fran was now compelled to lash the errant hard boiled egg with a wet “wrong call” shoelace for daring to characterise the sacred cow of New Zealand business as too soft.
Fran’s bread and butter is the business community and she lamented how much more uplifting it would have been if Christopher had instead focused on how successful New Zealand firms have been offshore during the pandemic.
“For instance, Fonterra, Zespri, Mainfreight, Fisher & Paykel Healthcare — just some of the firms that have overcome pandemic restrictions and distance from markets to sustain their businesses, strong revenue and for the most part, increased profits.” chided Fran as she whipped the egg into a generalised scrambled mess.
Fran was only getting started, as she exchanged the “wrong call” wet shoelace for a “misleading disservice” flogger.
“In that same interview, Luxon claimed “we haven’t been out and about hustling as we would have been in the past,” pointing to the trade partnerships that Australia and Britain had signed with India as an example of where New Zealand had lapsed.” – wrote Fran as she flayed Saint Christopher the patron saint of safe travel for his sins.
“This is quite misleading and does a disservice to New Zealand’s trade negotiators”, wrote Fran spelling out that the Ardern Government has just beaten Australia to the punch by signing a free trade deal with Europe.
Truth is Luxon first started to put down New Zealand’s trade efforts way back on 1 June 2022 when world famous PM Jacinda Ardern met President Biden.
“”We’re a big trading country, we need to be able to do business all round the world, and frankly I think we’ve been a bit off the boil. If you think about the UK and Australia doing free trade deals with India just recently, and if you think about the US – having a free trade agreement with the US, there’s a lot for us to be able to do.” – said Saint Christopher on 1 June 2022.
Fran had missed the substance of these remarks despite other media reporting them at the time, but now Fran had transformed from snapping turtle with a wet shoelace into Madam Lash with her big boots on.
“It is true the Indian negotiations stalled. But that happened on the National Government’s watch in 2015, which was when the last round of formal negotiations took place.” said Fran as she walked around the beaten and whipped egg before administering the ball breaker ….
“Misrepresenting New Zealand offshore does not go down well.” – wrote Fran in eggy letters ten feet tall on the city walls.
A standing ovation for Fran and three cheers…hip hip hooray…I laughed putting my flip top head back in place.
Misrepresenting New Zealand is what Luxon did.
Yes Luxon had taken a massive dump on all of us and for ten days now New Zealand had been seething about the absolute diplomatic disaster Luxon has been on his junket.
Fran suggested too late that Luxon should have cancelled that trip and instead tagged along over in Australia – but it was too late now.
The Fabergé egg ( Fuxon ) had been unleashed and his habit of “sticking-to-script” meant any Q&A with Luxon was perilous for National – as Luxon only knows one script and it’s about putting down New Zealand so he can gain power for himself.
Unlike Doubting Thomas Coughlan who suggested Luxon really just had been unlucky while Jacinda was lucky in an obvious argument to moderation, Fran stuck the boot in about the actual substance – even about Luxon’s habit of insulting everyone with his incorrect mask use.
“Instead, there were photo-ops in Singapore – where he incongruously turned up without a mask, unlike his hosts”, wrote Fran with some haughty contempt.
Luxon was not the real Sir John after all.
Just an imitator with a script and no substance.
Yes Luxon’s visit was a massive diplomatic catastrophe and Claire Trevett and Audrey Young were 100% conspicuous by their absence of factual comment about just how bad it really was.
Partisan media sulked in the shadows while the Angry Toilet Brush lost almost a third of his Audience in Auckland and Tova’s squealing for attention gained her hardly any audience at all.
Over at Curia – David Farrar’s Tax Payers Union poll was conducted between Sunday, July 3, and Sunday, July 10, 2022.
A polling period that included only four days of reaction to the Policy Exchange Speech which we all know media refused to make a single headline about for days while Twitter raged about it and G News reported it.
Now that backlash reaction is finally echoing through media after Luxon had been allowed to explain – AFTER the polling period so things are likely much worse for National than the latest poll suggests.
Farrar commented that Luxon’s drop in Preferred Prime Minister ratings by 5.6% was about Luxon’s mishandling of the abortion issues surfaced by Simon O’Connor way back around 26 June 2022.
However Luxon’s catastrophic diplomatic bungling will have added to that despite media attempts to smooth it all over by bending over backwards to let Saint Christopher explain.
Gordon Campbell wrote that Luxon was once again flip flopping like an omelette in the fallout :
“…it does seem strange that Luxon had evidently not foreseen that his corporate donors might feel they were not getting bang for the buck from him telling the global competition that our exporters have grown “soft” and reliant on government handouts. Uh oh. The blowback evidently required Luxon to once again “clarify” what he meant to say, even if that involves him saying the virtual opposite today of what he said yesterday.”
Gordon noted that this flip flopping was pretty usual for Luxon while he was attempting to unsay what he previously said – but more important was the way RNZ altered their schedule to allow Luxon to make his flip flop omelette :
“It seems very odd that RNZ thought it was worth breaking into its normal programming yesterday in order to provide Christopher Luxon with a platform from which to try and explain away his latest outbreaks of foot-in-mouth disease. Can we now assume that any time that National wants a media megaphone on the campaign trail next year, state broadcasting will rush to provide Luxon with one by tossing out its normal schedule?” – wrote Gordon Campbell.
So it was that Fran was finally ( after the polling period ) compelled to take the lash to Saint Christopher Fuxon.
On the mishandling of the abortion issue Fran relented :
“As a newbie leader he allowed TV3’s Jenna Lynch to stitch him up with her question: “Is abortion tantamount to murder, Yes or No?” He replied: “That’s what a pro-life position is.” And ever since he has been misquoted as saying abortion is tantamount to murder.”
Luxon is a pro-lifer and he strongly implied what his position is.
Quibbling over the actual words does not shift the true intent and meaning behind them, nor does making apologies for Luxon’s lack of experience.
Overall Fran had redeemed herself somewhat today but it was notably too late – and like the dark lord of Mordor who took his eye off Mount Doom – the consequences are still unfolding for National.
“He is a smart man. But a future leader has to be very careful not to be seen to talk New Zealand down.” – said Fran as she took off her boots and left the room.
Luxon’s script writers will be working on rewrites now and G News guarantees there will be charter school rote learning and constant rehearsals happening in team Luxon before he appears on camera later pumped up and gagging for an All Black win tonight like a down to earth – every day kiwi bloke again.
It’s all about sticking to that script.
Stick-to-the script Luxon – flogged by Fran