Gerard Otto Facebook: Gerard fantisises a dream about Dr Hoskings funeral



Dr Hosking’s funeral

It was a bleak, Elenor Rigby moment, when I cast my eyes around the graveyard …and saw that nobody else had come.

Nobody but a giant black raven …who sat on a branch above the grave of Dr Mike Noel Hosking the 4th, and cawed loudly :

“He would have died anyway. Think of the savings”.

The cruelty of the ravens words seemed rough and galled my heart strings.. despite the fact nobody could reason with Dr Hosking’s insane determination to end the Lockdown prematurely.

He was not alone in thinking human life was far less valuable than a higher unemployment rate, short term savings and of course a meaner, tighter government, focused on money as people literally struggled to breathe around him.

Several prominent people echoed Dr Hosking’s love for money before people.

Todd McClay, the ultimate dumb bunny rabbit in a suit, had hopped on the “let them die” bandwagon early – and criticised New Zealand’s elimination strategy in favour of letting the virus spread between non-essential businesses prematurely – like Australia – where you can still get infected by your hairdresser.

McClay and National had bleated on either side of the issue for far too long for anyone to take them seriously.

34 people had died in Australia so far and even Luke Malpass reckoned there was fast coming a time when we may rue the day we let medical people take over and tell us anything was more important than cold hard cash.

Luke refused to use the force – and had been described as a financial expert after working in Sydney for a money focused tabloid – so of course everyone paid attention when Luke said unnamed people close to Cabinet thought the Ministry of Health had risen above their station.

A sterling lack of facts and a treasure trove of gossip was all we could expect from Stuff’s chief political editor it seemed.

He may as well have written he did not know shit!

Truth be told neither Luke, Todd nor Dr Hosking knew a damned thing and were all waiting on Cabinet to get together today to determine the criteria for relaxing the risk mitigation levels.

The rest is history really.

Dr Hosking, driven insane by the decision not to spread the virus all over New Zealand ( like other Western Countries ) had accidentally contracted the virus by coming too close to a commoner.

“They are all going to die anyway. Think of the savings!” – were his last words apparently – as he was pronounced silent at last.

Even I shed a tear when I heard the good doctor had passed away – it’s not funny – it’s really sad.

“It’s not cool to mock the dead”, – I shouted at that bloody nasty Raven – who seemed confused and cocked it’s head at me – before flying off.

“Aghh look at all the brain dead people” – I sang to myself as I picked up the rice in the church where a wedding had been.

Which is when I woke up.

Oh fuck I was still in Lockdown and my wife was demanding coffee.

I’d been living in a dream and writing the words of a sermon nobody would hear.

Dr Hosking was still alive and well and STILL ranting like a cock faced mad march hare.

He was yelling that they are all going to die anyway, while Boris was in hospital, the Queen was bloody worried and Professor Baker was glad we’d decided to go hard early and knock this bugger off.

Let’s not fuck it up, ruining all the good work so far, by following greedy mad men and their selfish agendas.

Dr Hosking’s funeral


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